Will you need an encourager in your life? Have you needed one in the past? Are you an encourager? Just so we are on the same page should you decide to read this particular article – an encourager is somebody who – guess what – yes, others. However, is there much more to the notion of becoming an encourager? Yes, I understand firsthand what role an encourager could have in our life when we are going in the wrong way, hitting bottom or just feel like no one cares.
During my years, I had had occasions when I needed encouragement rather than invalidation. And, on some occasions, these folks showed up and, on many times, I was left to navigate life’s difficulties, trials, hardship and failures alone. I’ve learned both the hard way and the relaxed manner the importance of having encouragers in our own lives when we want them.
How about you – had to deal with a life issue alone and no one was on your corner or perhaps even nobody who cared? I can tell you if you haven’t ever been there that these days can be very trying life circumstances that could stretch us into our limits of faith, patience, confidence, and perception forcing us to reach deep and find something we did not even know we had.
What is the role of an encourager?
Encouragers are not in our own lives to pave the way ahead so that we can aimlessly wander through life circumstances, challenges and lessons without effort, learning, anxiety or even ensured success. Encouragers are educators. They are caring, and compassionate souls that wish to help us understand life’s lessons with as little pain and injury as possible but they’re not in our own lives to help us prevent what lifestyle needs and desires us to understand so we could be productive humans irrespective of our functions, responsibilities or opportunities.
Encourages can cheer us root for us and listen to our concerns and needs but their service is not to remove the learning from our own lives that are essential to learning so we could grow and become successful in whatever style we’ve chosen.
Encouragers don’t remove the pain or drama from our own lives, but they also help us to find the inner courage, belief, and endurance to handle it, manage it, conquer it and yes learn from it.
Who is an encourager?
Encouragers can be clients, friends, co-workers, family and even strangers. I can remember years ago sitting in an airport waiting to board a flight when I was having a conversation with a total stranger. FYI – ever had one of those – where you shared romantic inner fears, dreams, plans, expects or frustrations with an entire stranger that you knew you’d never find again? Happens all the time and why? Most of us need times to talk about, express and that and when we don’t have folks in our routine lives who will fill this role, we’ll reach out to anyone and everyone from time to time.
Back to my case – I shared with them the frustration of working with a hard client that I was working with for years. They surfaced as I went on for what seemed forever, and they eventually asked a simple question. “Why are you tolerating this behaviour and not only cutting the cord and going ?” This is not what I thought I needed to hear felt I had to hear, but it was what they chose to share, and you know what it was precisely what I wanted to hear.
I might have shared this with a spouse at the time or a few good friends and peers but was unable to admit the frustration to them. Hence, I just kept it bottled up within me into the detriment of other connections and activities in my life that kept deteriorating because of my lack of willingness or ability to deal with the matter. Ultimately, with the assistance of a total stranger, I was able to move one.
Are there? How about family, friends and even neighbours who from time to time are needed to assist us weather life’s storms?
How can we handle things when we don’t have an invited in our life?
Trials, tribulations, adversity, disappointment, failure, etc., are all a normal part of living. To deny them is to be innocent and innocent. Therefore, what are we to do when they hit with or without warning? There are scores of approaches to manage life’s adverse circumstances, and while others are more effective than others, many could be a waste of time, energy and even tools.
Enter the encourager, somebody who can help you, support you, believe in you, teach you, encourage you and care. Nobody likes going through a hardship alone mainly when we are unable to view the resources, answers or solutions which are evident and right in front of us.
Nobody wants to feel abandoned or without somebody who cares when life’s drawbacks show up on our doorstep. We all need emotional support from time to time regardless of our age, gender, financial status or schooling.
Without encouragers in our own lives during challenging times, we will often overreact, fall into melancholy, feel impossible, make stupid decisions or simply isolate ourselves from the world.
Encouragers are an essential part of our lives and think me through many lousy life experiences I loathed some of the encouragers I’ve had during my life. “Thant you – every one of you.”
What does it take to be an encourager for many others?
I’ll keep this question brief and to the stage. To be an encourager, you want some or many of these traits, characteristics, attitudes, beliefs, values, etc..
-You care about the effect you’ve got on others.
-You believe in the value of the human soul in others.
-you don’t have a selfish bone in your system.
-You put others before yourself.
– You have a giving soul.
– You want to leave a legacy of support.
– You have the ability, to be honest when the message may be perceived as unfavourable.
– You get a.
– You don’t want the acceptance of others to feel value.
– You’re a listener.
– You do not have private agendas whole encouraging others.